Chapter 6, "The Good Samaritan"

Panel Index
1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25



Panel 1
Jessica:

Look Robin, the Mark-signal!

 

 

 

   

Panel 2 Jessica:

The hand could belong to Bigfoot... yikes.

 

Andrew:

All these strips are populated by ape-men.

 

Jessica:

But EVILUTON is a lie!!!

 

Andrew:

Well, see, Chick just wants us to know that cave men are still among us...

 

Jessica:

What could the president honestly have done to elicit a "YAAAAAAH"?

 

 

 


Panel 3 Jessica:

Frank here is slowly morphing into a charicature of Richard Nixon.


Andrew:

Somehow I missed out on this little bit of doctrine. Sounds like the old ideas of "divine right".

 

Jessica:

Is Mark honestly saying that Hitler was God's annointed? I'd like some clarification on this issue.

 

Andrew:

At the risk of getting political, I've never heard any of, say, Bill Clinton's religious opponents claim he was God's annointed.

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 4 Andrew:

"My nameless political party!"

 

Jessica:

"I am not a crook!"

My god, he's a libertarian!

 

Andrew:

I guess he's a Republican... in '78 the president was Carter, a Democrat. Also a born-again Christian. Wacky!

 

Jessica:

Mark's become so holy he's fading away like the Holy Spirit.

 

 

 


Panel 5 Andrew:

Wow, it really is the right of kings. The Elizabethans believed that God sometimes sent bad kings to punish the people, and that the correct response was not to overthrow the tyrant, but to just put up with it and hope that the king changed his ways. Theoretically those ideas went out the window a long time ago. Theoretically.

 

Jessica:

If you're not praying for your president and your pastor, you get Billy Clinton and Teddy Haggert.


 

 


Panel 6 Jessica:

"Vote for the the man God leads you to vote for! Unless you're a woman, in which case you vote for whoever your husband tells you to."


 

 

   

Panel 7 Andrew:

Wow, something unpleasant happened to Billy.

 

Jessica:

He looks like a hobo.

 

Andrew:

I think he fell in a fire.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 8 Andrew:

Nothing suggests a good time like the command "go get some rope."

 

Jessica:

Once again, "the suffering of others gives us pleasure!" Is this a family of sociopaths? I'm surprised they don't keep a bevy of pets around just to torture.

 

   

Panel 9 Jessica:

Looks like Billy is about to "mark" that tree. "This tree is mine now! Pissing' on this tree for jesus!"

 

Andrew:

Billy emphasizes "waste" with italics and underlines. That seems like a weird place to put the emphasis in that sentence. Say it out loud.


 

 

 

 

   

Panel 10 Andrew:

Some people might consider that trespassing.


Jessica:

I know his head's supposed to be down, but it just looks like there's nothing on top of his neck.

 

Andrew:

Perhaps he's a hunchback- though actually I like to imagine that he looks like Lex Luthor from the front.

 

Jessica:

"The first kind act anyone has ever done for me!"? What is this guy, like 90? He must have had an unpleasant life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 11 Andrew:

Sometimes good works are important. But sometimes they aren't.


Jessica:

Hey, you bastard, we're staking this tree for Jay-sus!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 12 Jessica:

"Besides, I'm fresh out of petrified elephant shit!"

It's difficult to tell from this angle, but it looks like he bought a box of diapers, a single egg, and a bottle of aspirin. They're gonna have a wild night.


Andrew:

Billy's gained fifty-plus pounds since the last panel.

 

 

 

   

Panel 13 Jessica:

"Ooh, oh!... He made a mistake!" "Did he short change you?" "Go get some rope."


Andrew:

Is "Ooh, oh!" supposed to be like "Uh oh?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 14 Andrew:

"Sho, nuff mister. I needs this job! I's just po folks!"

"Boy, what a lesson!" Pound it home, Jack, pound it home. We don't want to take the risk that anyone might miss the point.


Jessica:

He's got the beginnings of a pretty impressive afro going on there.

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 15 Andrew:

And with that, the comic pulls to a screeching halt... no, I'm sorry, it doesn't.


 

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 16 Jessica:

Oh, I guess the "waaaah" is coming from the kid.


 

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 17 Jessica:

Billy has begun to morph into Colonel Mustard. "It was Mark, in the street, with the'74 Buick."

 

Andrew:

Several panels ago Billy's "soup strainer" began to turn into more of a "British officer circa 1899" handlebar. No word on the hair.

 

 

 

   

Panel 18 Jessica:

"I couldn't do that, Billy, it would be dishonest. And besides, this three-point fracture isn't really that bad!"

 

Andrew:

I guess Mark's deep-seated spirituality protects him from shock, or at least a few minutes of jittery detachment. I know Bible verses wouldn't be the first thing out of my mouth if I had almost gotten hit by a car.

 

Jessica:

It looks like Billy's tryin to pray the Spirit over him. "Just lie there, Mark, I'll have this taken care of in two shakes. Oogety Boogety! See, I can do his Christian stuff too."

 

 

 

   

Panel 19 Jessica:

"... and I have genital herpes and my parents told me I was adopted and I got this horrible hair cut.. and... and..."

 

Andrew:

It's just a no good, horrible, very bad day all around.

 

Jessica:

"I don't even know whose kid this is! That's what I get for jacking a Hyundai!"

 

Andrew:

Hey, don't call the nice man an SOB!

 

 

 

 


Panel 20 Andrew:

Again, I don't think I would be in any shape to drive anywhere at that moment. I guess Christians have nerves of steel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 21 Jessica:

You'll notice those two have the same face. She looks like she's about to chuck that kid with eevery ounce of her strength.

 

Andrew:

She's awfully trusting of this hippy and his crazy-talking friend.

 

Jessica:

I know 1978 is some by-gone paradise, but I still have a hard time accepting that she'd get into a car with these two. Mark is wearing a "flasher" trenchcoat, and Billy looks like your shifty, late-night uncle.

 

Andrew:

"Hey lady, you want to see the 'power of the Lord'?" "Sure.... ahhh!"

 

Jessica:

You just know Mark is packin'.

 

 

 


Panel 22 Andrew:

Mark: "I bet it's gas."

Billy: "No, I'm pretty sure this VW runs on diesel fuel."

 

Jessica:

I like how Mark, who has no indication of having any children, and whose wife is long dead, knows better than a mother that the kid has gas. Or did he have an opportunity to man-handle a lot of kids while doing missionary work? Or it's Christian telepathy that tells him it's gas. It must be that Holy Spirit they're always talking about.

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 23 Jessica:

"I'll eat your heart!!!"

 

Andrew:

Gyaa. So... she got the baby all the way to... wherever they are... without realizing it might by gassy?

 

Jessica:

The kid actually looks like one of those porly constructed babydolls where you insert a pacifier and it just sucks on it. Either that or he's about to belt out a very impressive baritone.

 

 

 


Panel 24 Jessica:

When I first read her speech-bubble, I thought she said "Goose-end"

 

Andrew:

Oh, a tract. Yeah, that'll help her economic situation. Does he just carry them wherever he goes?

I'll bet you anything that's supposed to be an actual Chick tract. I can't quite make out the title, though.

 

Jessica:

Someone set up us the bomb. You are on the way to financial destruction.
"My contributions depend on you buying my religious beliefs! I'm doing this for the lord!"

 

Andrew:

Even Billy feels this little episode stretches credibility.

 

Jessica:

She's one of the most unrealistic characters in the whole thing.

 

 

 

 

 


Panel 25 Jessica:

"Did you get lost?" Well, considering there hasn't been an identifiable building in the last ten panels, it's not surprising.

 

Andrew:

Identifiable buildings heck, we don't even have real characters, just sillhouettes.

And again, there's Billy to pound home the message for us.We need Captain Obvious to let the slower kids in the audience know what's going on.

 

Jessica:

"We had a wonderful time. I extorted a conversion out of a confused young woman!"

 

   

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Last Modified: December 22, 2013  

 

 

 
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