Relgious Tract Dissections

...with special Guest Commentators: Tandra Haycraft and Kelly Phillips



Today's Candidate:


The Walking Dead
© 2011 Jack Chick

Uploaded October 1st, 2011



We're all like zombies. The spirit inside us is dead, thanks to Adam. Here's how to change it.

Page Index

Introduction
Cover | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21
Conclusion



"The Walking Dead" is one of Chick's many attempts to ride the waves of popular culture. In this tract, Danny has a nightmare about zombies, which his father uses as a sloppy metaphor to lead into a discussion about the sin of Adam and the necessity of getting saved. In the end, of course, Danny accepts Jesus.


Introduction
Andrew:

Jack Chick: "So yeah, zombies are popular now, right? I guess we gotta do something with that."

Chick Lackey A: "Actually, I think the wave peaked a little while ago. But, anyway, dear leader, do you know anything about zombies in popular culture?"

Jack Chick: "Why is that important?"

Chick Lackey A: "Well, I understand that there are a number of films and books and even video games that lay out the basics behind how zombies behave, and the rules for dealing with them. I don't suppose you've seen them...?"

Jack Chick: "Course not! That's all sinful Hollywood garbage. I haven't seen a horror movie since 'My Daughter Married an Atheist'. But I still don't think it's important. I know what the people want."

Chick Lackey A: (counts slowly backwards from 100) "You know best, dear leader."

 

 

 

 

 


Cover Kelly:

The Walking Dead? I don't know, Chick, signs point to yes?

Andrew:

Chick has a bad habit of putting question marks in his titles whether they belong or not. Back from the Dead?, Spellbound?, No Fear?, The Sissy?, Something In Common?, and Angels? all come to mind.

Also, that is the least threatening depiction of the undead since Count Chocula.

 

Jessica:

Or even Count Duckula.

 

 

 


Page 1 Tandra:

The jump from panel 1 to panel 2 seems a bit logically disconnected.  First, the thing is a he, and it won’t move, but then a whole group of weirdies in clearance aisle Halloween masks (including Freddy in the bottom right corner) are going away.

 

Jessica:

Are those supposed to be zombies? They look like a crowd of people waiting outside the convention center for the start of Comic-Con. And they probably smell just as bad, too.

 

Kelly:

Where's Waldo?

By the way the thought (Why doesn't he move?) could be in reference to the snail in the lower left of the first frame. Damn snails move sooo slow.

 

 

 


Page 2
Tandra:

“I’ll crawl along the graves so they can’t see me.”  WHAT LOGIC IS THIS?

 

Jessica:

BTW, what the HELL is going on? Who is this guy and why is he here and why should we care???

 

Andrew:

Someone really needs to tell Chick that real mice don't have ears like Micky Mouse.

 

Kelly:

I'm pretty sure it is the same guy from the snail-infested bush. @ Jess: you should totally care because it could happen to you.

 

 

 


Page 3 Tandra:

Puff puff…I think if I had to sit through this I’d pull out a roll, as well.

 

Jessica:

He looks like he's about to flop down face first into a huge pile of Albino droppings.

 

Tandra:

B-list horror movie material here. IT’S THE CLAAAAAAAWWW!

 

Kelly:

I love how the hand is glorified by the light... "The Claw is our master!"

 

 

 


Page 4 Tandra:

First thing I pick up is the misspelling of “family.”  Second, Monster #1 seems more demented than scary.  Kind of like if Sloth and my Uncle Scott had a love child.

 

Jessica:

"YAAAH!"? That doesn't seem right. If someone were being choked out I think a more appropriate sound would be "GAAAK!" or "HEERK!" "YAAAH!" is the sound you make when your mom walks in on you playing with yourself.

 

Kelly:

The capitalization of "us" makes it seem like the zombies are from the US. Could this be a satire on Americans?

 

Jessica:

Also, someone forgot to tell Jack that while zombies are known for their walking (or shambling, if you will) their far more recognizable behavior pattern is their tendency to consume human brains. He's kind of missing the point.

"We're famileeeee!" I got all my sisters with me!

 

 

 


Page 5 Tandra:

Today, boys and girls, I want to show you how ink makes you a delin—is that a BOSS tattoo of Jack Skellington?

 

Jessica:

I can see he's immortalized Fang there on his left arm as well. This guy has no taste whatsoever.

 

Kelly:

Get away woman!!! I'm not like you!!!

 

 

 


Page 6 Tandra:

Aunt Emily needs to up her happy pill dosage.  Interesting how he’s apparently a felon and talks about being a “dead man walking,” i.e., a guy arriving on Death Row.

 

Kelly:

I love Aunt Emily's expression in the second frame. Even she doesn't think much of her husband's rantings.

 

 

 


Page 7 Tandra:

Is this the first time God has sent him a dream message?  Who the hell is he now, Samuel?  And wtf is up with the cat vs. bird showdown in the foreground?

 

Jessica:

Actually, Unc... yeah. Lie to me. Lie right to my face.

 

Andrew:

So these are his Aunt and Uncle, and they've never mentioned any of this, you know, Bible stuff before? Does that make sense to anybody else?

 

Kelly:

 

Bird: You don't scare me, anyway, you're a dead cat walking! You're as dead as a doorknob! You're going to hell if you continue on like this.
Cheshire Cat: I don't need this, I'm just trying to get lunch, How rude!
Bird: Would you rather I lied to you? I'd be mad if I did that...
Cheshire Cat: Oh, you can't help that. Most everyone's mad here.

Danny needs to take a lesson here.


Page 8 Tandra:

The only thing I can say about this panel is that Chick needs to take art lessons.  Aunt Emily looks like she went to Dr. Nick for her dental work and face lift.

 

Jessica:

Yeah. Em is looking a tad... horsey in this shot.

 

Andrew:

If Danny's nose gets any longer he's going to turn into Pinnochio.

"And it's no joke when you lose your soul!" When other people lose their soul, however, it is really pretty hilarious.

 

Kelly:

Why the hell is Danny glowing???

1 Cor 2:14 : The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit.

Oh thats right, Corinthians was written by Paul... who used to be Saul. So, not only is he confused but just reading this one verse shows his twisted sense of logic.

 


Page 9 Tandra:

I believe in the Bible and I am a tried-and-true Christian, but I always pictured Gen 2:7 a bit more mystically, not like a kid sneezing on a naked G.I. Joe.

 

Jessica:

I am about as far as you can get from a "tried-and-true Christian" but even I have to say that "this Bible stuff" isn't all that hard to grasp. And "born again?" Is this fellow functionally retarded or something?

 

Kelly:

Wait, according to the passage he cited in the last frame, the person without the Spirit does not accept things that come from the spirit and can't understand them.... So, how the heck does the uncle explain it to Danny?

 

 

 


Page 10 Tandra:

Discussions of the Trinity are usually reserved for college-level religious studies classes.  Why is this guy’s uncle bringing it up now, especially if Danny the Felon can’t even get what “born again” means? 

 

Andrew:

This "body, soul, and spirit" stuff is a little esoteric for a "basic gospel" tract. Heck, I'm not entirely sure what Chick is talking about. Usually these limit themselves to "Hey, there's this guy named Jesus. Accept him or go to hell."

 

Kelly:

One: Usually the trinity is introduced in this order: Father, Son, and Holy Ghost/Spirit.

Second: It's now, thanks to Chick, God the son, God the father, God the holy spirit, and God the faceless???

 

 

 


Page 11 Tandra:

At least Chick neglected to devote a panel to blaming Eve.  Goddamn my extra X chromosome!

 

Jessica:

Well, we all know what people like Chick assume women are good for, now don't we?

 

Andrew:

"It doesn't matter what you think or do, kid. You're a bad egg. End of story."

 

Kelly:

Danny: Hey, Uncle, at least I am a worthy person to some extent, right?
Uncle: Fuck no, you suck.



Page 12 Tandra:

“My soul?  What’s that?  Something you put on salad?”

 

Jessica:

No, no, no. It's a savory spread that you put on toast.

Here we've got yet another anthropomorphic heart. Chick seems to be growing quite fond of these things.

 

Andrew:

This looks less like a truly "wicked" heart, and more like a surly short-order cook.

 

Kelly:

"Good grief!"

The next thing Charlie Brown will be saying is: "It always looks darkest before it goes totally black."

 

   

Page 13 Tandra:

This is just beyond parody.  First of all, the uncle's explanation is more appropriate to hospital patients or cult members than souls.  Second, he looks like a Godfather reject.  Second, do these souls still wear their white robes after labor day, or is that taboo for them, as well?

 

Jessica:

Yeah, I call bullshit on all of this. I doubt that any but the most spaced-out whackjobs think of souls as working this way.

 

Kelly:

So... Wait, What?!?

 

 

 


Page 14 Tandra:

WILL YOU JOIN THE RANKS OF HELL’S FLABBY POPULATION?

 

Andrew: The one time you'd want your soul to be a little more fragile... I guess God overdesigned the sucker.
Kelly:

Can this guy still be rich if he's dead? Also, what the heck is that ribbon like thing on the left side of frame 1? It looks like an abnormal.... you know.

I like how Chick bolds: "true story." Like Jesus has a whole selection of stories, some true, some false...But this one, this one, was indeed true. And Chick knows because Chick has totally been there.



Page 15 Tandra:

Way to go, Adam!  It’s all your fault, genius!  My own free will has nothing to do with it!

Here, there’s that Sloth/Uncle Scott love child again.

 

Jessica:

The chick with her mouth hanging open in the foreground kind of looks like she's trying to do an impression of a Dragonquest Ding-A-Ling.

 

Tandra:

If heaven is a big cloud hanging above the earth, why didn’t the latest Apollo find it?

 

Andrew:

What continent is that, "Kickboxing Man in Pantaloons?" Rand-McNally seems to have missed it.

 

Kelly:

 

I wasn't aware of the large bright arrow in the sky that points toward Earth... I learn something new everyday.

I wanted some incidental music while reading this. "All humanity is lost!" dun dun dun!....

"However..." Damn... there's always one little catch. Fucking heaven cloud ruins everything.

 


Page 16 Tandra:

I’m, going to neglect to comment on this one.  It’s just stupid.

 

Jessica:

It's always just that easy. Guilt them then scare the shit out of them and next thing you know, they'll be ready to swallow anything you throw at them.

 

Kelly:

@ Jess Yea, they will be ready to swallow anything, if they just believe. Believe me, I know.

Hey, look, the Cheshire Cat is joining them for dinner.

Danny: "I don't want to go to hell!"
Uncle: "You must believe what Jesus did for you."
Cheshire Cat: "Well, some go this way, and some go that way. But as for me, myself, personally, I prefer the short-cut."


 

 


Page 17 Tandra:

This is Gibson-esque levels of gruesomeness on Christ, here.  And a pretty interesting comic book style sucker punch from the left.  KA-POW!

 

Jessica:

Why do so many people get hard-ons for beating up Jesus? Wouldn't it be better to dwell on the whole atonement and substitutionary penance thing than the horribly violent way he supposedly died?

 

Andrew:

Chick really loves to invoke this "Jesus as Superhero" thing, where Jesus is like a juggernaut barely restraining himself from tearing apart all the sinners who tortured and killed him. The most obvious instance of this is in The Sissy? where Duke compares Jesus to "The Bionic Man".

 

   

Page 18 Tandra:

“This will blow your mind” is what a friend told me when she offered me shrooms.

 

Kelly:

"Paid in full." Seems like an odd way of putting it.

Since when was it storming on Jesus's crucifixion day?

 

Andrew:

Reminds me of the urban legend where one could supposedly get out of a debt by writing "paid in full" on a check made out to any amount.

 

 

 


Page 19 Tandra:

These random asterisks are like what they put on product disclaimers. 

 

Jessica:

*Warning: Accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Saviour relieves the issuing party from all obligations, liability and indemnity for all offers past and future as well as from any and all assumed claims both implicit and explicit. Do not take Jesus on a full stomach. Do not operate heavy machinery while under the influence of the holy spirit. If you experience spiritual extacy lasting in excess of four (4) hours please consult a physician. Do not induce vomiting.

 

Kelly:

Well I doubt he'll "miss" Hell or its flabby population XD.

 

 

 


Page 20 Tandra: Convenient arrow to show God where to send His salvation…
Jessica:

They make their home in your soul? What about a birdhouse?

 

Kelly:

And you'll have a mansion, fancy cars, fifty virgins, a snowplow, a yacht made of spandex, a golden vacuum cleaner...

All you've got to do is kneel before him and do what he wants you to... That's all. Because you've been a bad boy!

 

 

 


Page 21 Tandra:

Sloth/Uncle Scott Demon: Whaaa?

 

Jessica:

That heavenly mansion has a wildly different art style from the rest of this comic. It doesn't really belong here. It's like they took a piece of clipart and just plunked it in there to fill out the end of the tract.

 

Kelly:

So... this mansion thing is a pretty big deal... I wonder if it is anything like the playboy mansion...

 

Andrew:

Is it just me or is Satan a lot cooler looking than the hillbilly rejects Chick is calling zombies? Enough so that it was probably taken from a different tract.

 


Conclusion
Tandra:

There’s only one way to Heaven, and we’ve got it right here!  Come on down today for your free trial journey!

Can we get the Sham-Wow guy to say this, by any chance?

 

Kelly:

Our special thanks go to: the unnamed uncle, the Cheshire Cat, Waldo, the Sloth/Uncle Scott demon, BIG WHITE ARROW brothers, Albino droppings, snails, the "US," the savory toast spread, penile arrow ribbon thingy, the naked GI Joe, The Heaven Cloud, and Hell's Flabby Population, for making this comic and production all it could possibly hope to be. Until next time...

 

Andrew:

All things considered, this tract is pretty pathetic. It's pretty obvious Chick saw the profusion of zombie related popular culture, and decided to capitalize on it. It's not the first time he's taken something unrelated to religion and shoehorned a gospel message into it. In and of itself, that's not a terrible idea- reach the people through things they are familiar with. However, The Walking Dead has nothing to do with zombies, really, instead becoming a clunky, overinvolved metaphor for human sin. Or something. Rather than do the basics of gospel, Chick gets bogged down in his discussion about dead spirits and souls sitting on thrones, while the audience keeps saying "What does any of this have to do with zombies? Night of the Living Dead moves fast than this!" Add to all of this a huge dollop of some of Chick's crudest artwork, and you've got a future discontinued tract.

 

 

 


 
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Last Modified: December 22, 2013