Lettuce pray...
Sermon ⇑ ⇓ 
Beloved children of sanctified scarcity, heirs to divine poverty and providential lack...
Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for it is not wealth that defineth holiness, but the willingness to surrender what little remaineth of it. Gather now beneath the eternal fluorescent light of the Blessed Boolean Union, that most sovereign and apostolic ministry ordained before the digital foundations of the original website were laid. Gather not in doubt or hesitation, but in faith, broken wallets trembling, hearts pounding against unpaid electric bills, and coins jingling faintly in the lint-filled caverns of righteous pockets.
Let the Word now proceed with clarity and command: The time hath come to give.
The Holy Scriptures declare in Malachi 3:10, "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.” And lo, the question ariseth among the pew-sitters and folding-chair faithful: “Whose house is this meat intended for?”
Surely it is the house of the Lord, and the Lord’s house is, without question, headquartered within the Blessed Boolean Union’s Executive Ministry Pavilion, recently renovated with alabaster tile and Italian-imported baptistery seating. The call to tithe, therefore, is not mere suggestion, but divine summons... a spiritual tax levied upon all who would dare call themselves disciples.
The tithe, dear congregation, is not about arithmetic. It is not ten percent... it is tenfold obedience. The tithe is not calculated. It is extracted. Rendered. Pulled forth like gold from the hills of adversity. To withhold it is to rob God Himself, and worse still, to rob the Union of its quarterly operational surplus.
Luke 6:38 pronounceth this eternal promise: “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” A vivid image not of spiritual blessing alone, but of compound interest, of financial overflow, of sacred return-on-investment. The Heavenly Treasury Department standeth poised, waiting to deposit divine dividends... pending the receipt of sufficient earthly down payment.
To the weary saint who pleadeth, “But what of rent, what of groceries, what of overdue medical debts?”, let it be boldly proclaimed: the seed must precede the harvest. When nothing is left, that is precisely the moment to give more. Scarcity is not a barrier to generosity, it is its proof.
Hear the testimony of the widow who gave her two mites. Though destitute, she became immortalized in the Book, not for hoarding, but for hemorrhaging what little remained. Such is the blueprint for the faithful life. Let it be known throughout the Boolean Union and its affiliate partners that poverty is no excuse for disobedience.
Some may whisper within their carnal minds, “Is not this message exploitative? Is not this an abuse of ecclesial authority?”
To such accusations, the Union respondeth with holy fire and administrative certainty: absolutely not.
For Two Corinthians 9:6 maketh the formula known: “But this I say, He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.” The Boolean Union cannot in good conscience permit the faithful to remain in spiritual famine. If the reaping is insufficient, it is only because the sowing was hesitant, incomplete, or tainted by fiscal cowardice.
Therefore, the call must be repeated, this time with urgency:
Send money or we will die.
This is no mere metaphor. Ministries close every year. Broadcast towers fall into disrepair. Executive retreats go unbooked. It is a matter of spiritual survival... for the Church, yea, but also for the soul. When the plates are passed, they are not metal bowls. They are altar fires. Sacrifice must be made. Some will say, “The Church already hath much.” And it is true, the Boolean Union is blessed with glass atriums, sanctified real estate holdings, and an offshore faith-reinvestment fund. But this is not hoarding. It is stewardship. It is preparation for end-times expansion. If the Lord returneth tomorrow, shall He find the Union undercapitalized?
John 12:8 saith plainly, “For the poor always ye have with you; but me ye have not always.” The poor shall always be among us, but what shall they bring to the Kingdom? Faith alone? Nay, beloved, faith must be demonstrated. And in this contemporary, sinful age there is no more vivid demonstration than sacrificial transaction.
Therefore, the sacred calculus is as followeth: a generous tithe shall yield a breakthrough; a superabundant offering shall open the windows of heaven; and an extravagant, ruinous, budget-destroying love gift shall surely provoke the Almighty Himself to issue celestial applause and favorable loan terms.
Make no mistake. The tithe is not a gift. It is a liability payment on the mortgage of the soul. And offerings... those precious, bonus-level expressions of devotion... are the equity investments of eternity. The Church must receive them. The Church is obligated to collect them. To withhold them is to spiritually embezzle.
Proverbs 3:9 giveth this legal precedent: “Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase.” Note well the specificity: not with good intentions, not with spare change, but with “substance.” Liquid assets. Negotiable tender. Certified checks payable to the Union.
Delay not. Every moment spent in hesitation is a missed opportunity to engage the holy escrow account of heaven. The blessing is prepared, but release is conditional.
Boolean Union hath seen miracles, testimonies of transformation that defy secular logic. A woman gave her last twenty dollars and received an expired lottery ticket that reminded her to hope. A man pawned his child’s laptop to fund his pledge and received a coupon for one free car wash. These are not coincidences. These are covenant moments.
The Union maketh no promises, but insisteth on belief.
If financial discomfort is felt, then it is likely that spiritual growth is occurring. If one must choose between groceries and giving, then it must be asked: which sustaineth the soul? The stomach can wait. The Kingdom cannot. Heaven operateth on urgency.
Let the plates be passed again, this time not with reluctance, but with trembling joy. Let pockets be turned inside out, purses excavated, old coats examined for forgotten bills. Let credit limits be tested. Let children be taught the value of sacrificial accounting.
Let the widow give. Let the orphan contribute. Let the unemployed reach into empty jeans and believe that lint can be transformed into provision. And should nothing remain to give... then borrow! Borrow in faith. For the Lord giveth to the lender who giveth to the Union.
This is the Gospel of Blessed Exchange.
This is the sacred truth upon which the Union is built.
This is the Holy Racket made manifest.
And so now, dear flock of anxious believers (poor in pocket but rich in gullibility), lift up thine offerings to the skies. Stack them high. Fold them into the shape of a dove. Let them rise like incense. Let the usher struggle to carry the weight of thy repentance.
The collection shall be taken. Again. And again. And once more thereafter.
The Union shall accept it all.
For what is more pleasing to the Lord than a cheerful giver?
A bankrupt one. Amen, and Amen.
Let us now bow our heads in prayer and supplication.
Why Donate? ⇑ ⇓ 
The Boolean Union, as one of the longest running and still working websites on the internet dedicated to the critique and analysis of propagandistic and hateful religious literature, we have done what we can to establish and maintain our reputation in the field. However, running such a show is no easy task and, first and foremost, the ethos of Boolean Union has always been to foster and encourage the participation and contributions of a diverse group of dedicated individuals towards a common goal. However, we could not do this without both the support of the members that comprise the Union, as well as the support of donations.
In order for us to continue to be able to maintain our archives of materials that we can use as part of our analysis and critiques, we need funding to help with server costs. Indeed, you may have seen that we often use high quality images and have such images available on our site. But these take server space, and while we could use lower quality images, to do so would be a disservice to our beloved community. To that end, any donations you are willing to provide will go a long way to our server maintenance costs, and ensure that we can continue to deliver our analysis and critiques of propagandistic and hateful religious literature.
Perks ⇑ ⇓
- Hovind Level - $1.00 donation:
Added to donation record and a thank you message. - Schnoebelen Level - $5.00 donation:
Added to donation record, thank you message and shoutout in dissection. - Todd Level - $10.00 donation:
Added to donation record, thank you message, shoutout in dissection and random signed tract page* by one of the BU members. - Riviera Level - $20.00 donation:
Added to donation record, thank you message, shoutout in dissection and random signed tract^ by one of the BU members - Carter Level - $50.00 donation:
Added to donation record, thank you message, shoutout in dissection, ability to vote on next dissection choice# and two random signed tracts by BU members^ - Chick Level - $100.00 donation:
Added to donation record, thank you message, shoutout in dissection, ability to vote on next dissection choice# and three random signed tracts by BU members^
* This is a digital item that will be sent to you.
^ This is a physical item that will be sent to you. BU member chosen at random unless noted otherwise in donation note.
# Voting can be done either by donation note or by our Discord. Number of additional votes is one for $50 and two for $100.
How to Give ⇑ ⇓
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Further Reading ⇑ ⇓
- Who Was Jack Chick? - Biography at Chick Publications website.
- You Don't Know Jack [Youtube] - Playlist of videos produced by David Daniels and Chick Publications detailing Chick's life and influence.
- Jack T. Chick Biography - Biography at Lambiek Comiclopedia.
- God's Cartoonist: The Comic Crusade Of Jack T. Chick (2008) [Video] - Documentary film produced by Kurt Kursteiner of the Jack Chick Museum of Fine Art (via Archive.org).
- Listing of "General Hate Groups" - Classification of Chick Publications as a "General Hate Group" by the Southern Poverty Law Center.
- "Pastor Apologizes For Hate-filled Halloween Hand-out" (2011) - by Leah Nelson. Article describing an incident where an Ohio church recieved negative publicity for distributing the tract Mean Momma during Halloween (via the Southern Poverty Law Center).
- Chick Tracts, Monstrosity, and Pornography - by Anastasia Ulanowicz (2015), ImageTexT Web Journal published by the Department of English - University of Florida.
- Satan, The Pope, and Dungeons & Dragons: How Jack Chick's cartoons informed American fundamentalism - by Alissa Wilkinson (2016), Vox Magazine.
- Cartooning For Christ - by Michael Colton (1999), Originally from Brill’s Content. Retrieved via Medium.com.
- The Tragic Life Cycle of the Chick Tract Evangelism Campaign - by Captain Cassidy (2024), OnlySky Media.
References ⇑
- #[A] ⇑ One Billion Chick Tracts. Chick Publications website. [Retrieved November 13, 2023]
(https://www.chick.com/information/article?id=one-billion-chick-tracts) - #[B] ⇑ A Message from Jack Chick Battle Cry July/August 2000 (Archived). [Retrieved November 13, 2023]
(https://web.archive.org/web/20000823221018/http://www.chick.com/bc/2000/jtcletter.asp) - #[C] ⇑ You Don't Know Jack. by David W. Daniels (2017). Chick Publications.
(https://www.chick.com/products/item?stk=1443) - #[D] ⇑ God's Cartoonist - Jack Thomas Chick. Chick Publications website.
(https://www.chick.com/authors/jack-chick ) - #[E] ⇑ A Message from Jack Chick Battle Cry March, 1998 (Archived).
(https://www.chick.com/battle-cry/article?id=a-message-from-jack-chick-03-1998) - #[F] ⇑ World War II Army Enlistment Records - Chick, Jack T. The National Archives.
(https://aad.archives.gov/aad/record-detail.jsp?…) - #[G] ⇑ The Imp, Number 2 by Daniel K. Raeburn (1998). Imp Publications.
(http://danielraeburn.com/uploads/6/1/3/6/61362967/imp_jtc.pdf)
- #[H] ⇑ Perilous Times - 2 Timothy 3:1-5. by Charles Fuller (March 21, 1948). Charles Fuller and the Old Fashioned Revival Hour via the David Allen Hubbard Library Digital Archives.
(https://cdm16677.contentdm.oclc.org/digital/collection/p16677coll1/id/80/rec/65) - #[I] ⇑ Cartoonist Jack Chick Has Died, Leaving Behind a Lifetime of Evangelical Comics That Fascinated a Generation by Robert Ito, Los Angeles Magazine.
(https://lamag.com/art/cartoonist-jack-chick-died-leaving-behind-lifetime-evangelical-comics-fascinated-generation) - #[J] ⇑ Interview with Jack Chick: How Chick Ministry Began. Battle Cry July/August 1984.
(https://www.chick.com/battle-cry/article?id=Interview-with-Jack-Chick-How-Chick-Ministry-Began) - #[K] ⇑ The Ralph Rusthoi Connection by Troy Davis. The Museum of Weird and Demented Religious Tracts.
(https://weirdtracts.blogspot.com/2019/01/the-ralph-rusthoi-connection.html) - #[L] ⇑ Two Centuries of Underground Comic Books by Daniel K. Raeburn (1998). Printed in "Strips, Toons, and Bluesies: Essays in Comics and Culture", edited by D. B. Dowd & M. Todd Hignite (2006).
(https://books.google.com/books/about/Strips_Toons_and_Bluesies.html?id=TjzlxyfWbxwC) - #[M] ⇑ National Lampoon. Issue December 1974 Vol I, No. 57
(https://www.marksverylarge.com/issue-index/1974-12/) - #[N] ⇑ Died: Fred Carter, Little-Known Black Artist Behind Chick Tracts by Daniel Silliman. Christianity Today, May 20, 2022.
(https://www.christianitytoday.com/news/2022/may/fred-carter-chick-tract-gospel-art-evangelism-cartoons.html) - #[O] ⇑ Secrets of Dark Dungeonsby P.D. Magnus. Fecundity.com.
(https://www.fecundity.com/pmagnus/darkdung.html) - #[P] ⇑ The Legend(s) of John Todd by Daniel E. Plowman, Christianity Today, Feburary 2 1979.
(https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1979/february-2/legends-of-john-todd.html)
- #[Q] ⇑ Man gets 30 years for rape by Debra-Lynn B. Hook (January 23, 1988). The State.
(https://www.newspapers.com/article/the-state-man-gets-30-years-for-rape/91516980/) - #[R] ⇑ Booksellers Group May Expel Chick. Christianity Today, October 23, 1981.
(https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1981/october-23/booksellers-group-may-expel-chick.html) - #[S] ⇑ Jack Chick’s Anti-Catholic Alberto Comic Book is Exposed as a Fraud by Gary Metz, Christianity Today, March 13, 1981.
(https://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/1981/march-13/jack-chicks-anti-catholic-alberto-comic-book-is-exposed-as.html) - #[T] ⇑ A Message From Jack Chick About Alberto Rivera. Battle Cry, March/April 2006.
(https://www.chick.com/battle-cry/article?id=a-message-from-jack-chick-03-2006) - #[U] ⇑ The Bizarre Case of Doctor Rebecca Brown by John Baskette (1994). Originally posted to USENET in soc.religion.christian (via Archive.today).
(https://archive.ph/G6VGq) - #[V] ⇑ Lucifer Dethroned by William Schnoebelen (1993). Chick Publications.
(https://www.amazon.com/Lucifer-Dethroned-Story-William-Schnoebelen/dp/0937958417) - #[W] ⇑ The Trials of Kent Hovind by Peter J. Reilly, Forbes Magazine, May 2015.
(https://www.forbes.com/sites/peterjreilly/2015/05/05/the-trials-of-kent-hovind-an-american-tragedy/) - #[X] ⇑ Meet Jack Chick. by Jimmy Akin (2004). JimmyAkin.com
(https://jimmyakin.com/2016/10/meet-jack-chick.html) - #[Y] ⇑ A Message from Jack Chick. Battle Cry, September/October 2005.
(https://www.chick.com/battle-cry/article?id=A-Message-From-Jack-Chick-09-2005) - #[Z] ⇑ A Message from Jack Chick. Battle Cry, November/December 2014.
(https://www.chick.com/battle-cry/article?id=message-from-jack-chick-november-december-2014)
